In the spirit of gift giving, eggnog drinking, carol singing and dreidel spinning, the heart of the holiday season is spending quality time with family and friends. But while it can be wonderful to catch up with long-lost, friends, the constant flurry of entertaining and socializing can be stressful -- especially if one of your holiday responsibilities is hosting.

Perhaps you’ve invited your friends or relatives, who live in another town to be your guests over the coming Holiday’s.  Or you have been invited to be a guest in someone else’s home.  Whether you are the host or the houseguest there is a need for a delicate balancing act to perform.  The hosts most important task is making their guests feel at home.

Hosting can become overwhelming, but you do not need to let it become out of control.  With a few tips and advance preparation you can be the quintessential holiday hostess.  Begin by laying out the particulars as clearly as possible.  When will your guests arrive? When will they be leaving? Do they have any special dietary needs? Let your guests know if you have anything planned during their stay, and on which days.  So that they can prepare what they will need to pack, perhaps an evening presentation of the Nutcracker with a late dinner at a high end restaurant (which means dressing up a bit).  If your guests are coming by car be sure that they have accurate directions as well as recommendations of interesting places to stop and sight see or eat along the way.  If your guest will be arriving by plane or train or other means of public transportation, offer to pick them up or offer to provide a car service.

Once your guests arrive, show them to their room or sleeping area and the bath they will be using.  Then give them a chance to relax and unpack or freshen up.  If they are unfamiliar with your home give them a tour explaining the details of how the house works, light switches, appliances, food and anything else that you think that they might need to know.  Invite them to help themselves and to make themselves feel as if your home is theirs during their stay.   Don’t worry if you don’t have a proper guest room.  A sofa bed, or air bed can be set up in the living room or den.  Children can be temporarily relocated to accommodate a guest for a short period of time.  Though you may want to move out of your own room to accommodate a guest it is usually not a good idea, they would most likely feel very uncomfortable in this situation.  And as you know having manners, is all about making other people feel more comfortable. 

Here is a checklist of items that will make your guests feel welcome and appreciated during their stay:

• A Bed made up with clean sheets ( I recommend sleeping in the bed for an evening before hand to make sure that the bed is comfortable, and that there are no odd disturbances )
• An extra blanket, pillow or two
• A good reading light with a few good books or magazines that you think your guests might enjoy
• Clock radio and or cd player with music that you think they would enjoy,  I like to have an ipod loaded with Holiday music as well as restful music to relax to at the end of a busy day.
• Box of tissues
• Waste basket
• A carafe and glass  and several water bottles
• Make sure that an area of the closet has been cleared and stocked with hangers, clear out a few drawers in the room so that they can unpack.
• Fresh towels, face towels, wash cloths and a bath mat. 
• New cakes of soap or a body wash
• Glasses for drinking and brushing teeth
• Extra rolls of toilet paper

That is the very basics’ of what you should provide.  If you want to be an extraordinary host then as in everything in life, do the little bit “EXTRA”.

• Put a vase of fresh flowers in the room as well as the bath
• Wooden hangers and or plastic in the closet with a scented sachet
• A basket or box  to hold a lint roller, clothes brush, hand lotion, holiday scented bath gels, a new tooth brush, razor, headache and stomach medicines.  Or anything else you might think that they will need. 
• Provide a small desk or a cleared tabletop, and stock it with pens and paper, note cards, envelopes, and stamps. Compile a list of some favorite local places -- restaurants, cafes, museums, antiques shops, movie theaters -- and provide timetables, if appropriate, for buses, ferries, or trains. A telephone in the room is a convenience, but not a necessity.

You can save yourself a lot of time and trouble if you prepare whatever you can in advance.  Your meals will be the most time consuming.  So prepare make ahead dishes for several meals.  If you can’t make them ahead plan your menus and be sure to stock your kitchen with everything you will need.  If your guests offer to help, don’t refuse their offers. Most guests sincerely want to help and might feel uncomfortable if denied the pleasure.  

If your guests have children, treat them with tolerance and respect it will make everyone’s stay that much more pleasant.  Plan outings for them to do, ice skating at the local rink, local plays and pageants, a trip to the local library for story time, museums, holiday movie showings or an evening of caroling.  At home have things to keep them busy, don’t expect them to sit and watch TV while you catch up on old times.  Plan an afternoon of cookie making, creating ornaments, drawing or painting, or just taking a long walk. 

You have been an extraordinary host and now is the time to wrap it up.  Of course you tell your guests how much you enjoyed their stay and that you hope they will come again soon.  A polite host not only sees their guests to the door but also stands on the porch until they are out of sight, waving the occasional good-bye.  If you were to leave the porch too early you would give the impression that you are eager to get back to your routine.  (You probably are but in the spirit of good manners you would never admit it.)

Finally, try to relax and enjoy your visit. Accept help when it's volunteered - you don't have to do it all by yourself. No one remembers  perfection, everything doesn't have to be perfect to build those long-cherished memories. Many times it's the little imperfections that nestle into the warmest spot of your heart.

Happy Holidays!